Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i drank out of a bidet.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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