They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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