I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
