Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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