hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
