Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
