she smelled like a LAN party
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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