in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
