Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
