My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize
