I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
