wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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