I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
