He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize