My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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