I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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