no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
