I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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