All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
