either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I puked a lego.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
