The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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