I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
then he tried to convert me to islam
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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