it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
