I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
