i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
