whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
