Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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