so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
