She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
