I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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