I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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