I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
