Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
