I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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