i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
