I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I don't deserve a penis
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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