she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I need water and some morals
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
