so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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