Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
