Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We need to get me chipped asap
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
