remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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