It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize