We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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