mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
