so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
