Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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