I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
