Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
