Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead

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  (925): Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead http://tfl.nu/949y
  Replies (8) Good night (1235) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.

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  (602): Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not. http://tfl.nu/pe6e
  Replies (14) Good night (730) Bad night (3520)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Oh yeah.

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  (770): You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend! (706): Oh yeah. http://tfl.nu/uvwd
  Replies (23) Good night (3852) Bad night (981)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.

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  (678): he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people. http://tfl.nu/q5y8
  Replies (33) Good night (798) Bad night (3484) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science

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  (816): I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science http://tfl.nu/uxxs
  Replies (20) Good night (3545) Bad night (690) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?

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  (250): Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point? http://tfl.nu/14m2
  Replies (9) Good night (2631) Bad night (1207) Order T-Shirt
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.

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  (478): There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect. http://tfl.nu/c9bw
  Replies (36) Good night (1264) Bad night (5624) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks

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  (609): all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs (609): hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks http://tfl.nu/8a0z
  Replies (3) Good night (1945) Bad night (462)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..

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  (908): It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps.. http://tfl.nu/jf04
  Replies (3) Good night (1500) Bad night (669) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.

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  (256): I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train. http://tfl.nu/pxln
  Replies (17) Good night (2224) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.

  (1-305): View more from Florida

  God Bless cinco de mayo

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  (305): Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila. (1-305): God Bless cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/78zu
  Replies (2) Good night (1100) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today

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  (231): FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today http://tfl.nu/dvgl
  Replies (5) Good night (1660) Bad night (383) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...

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  (613): Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick... http://tfl.nu/9qzg
  Replies (3) Good night (884) Bad night (369) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.

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  (716): Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out. http://tfl.nu/y9bt
  Replies (2) Good night (1144) Bad night (236)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point

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  (863): Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point http://tfl.nu/nvoe
  Replies (7) Good night (698) Bad night (279) Order T-Shirt

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