I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"