I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?