My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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