my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Enjoy the penises
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
