He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
