I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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