Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
