i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
