butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
