Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
