Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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