so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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