You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
