Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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